Yes, today is the Super Bowl. Beforehand there will no doubt be much debate about which team will win and which is the better team. In fact, those debates may become heated arguments as the day progresses.
What do you do when arguments get heated?
Disagreements are a part of every relationship. You cannot live together and not have disagreements. When disagreements become full-blown arguments the way you argue can either help or hinder the relationship. For instance, are you a fair fighter or do you make hurtful jabs at your partner, pushing until they are angry and hurt? Maybe your style is to become silent and let your partner hurt you without telling them how you feel?
Honest and open communication is vital to every relationship. State how you feel and let it go. Understanding that both have different likes and dislikes and you can be very passionate about them will help you fight fair. Don't try to change their beliefs by pushing your agenda on them. They believe the way they do for reasons you may not be able to grasp. Sometimes even they don't know why they feel so strongly about a subject the way they do. To them it makes sense.
So do a quick self-test, when you find yourself having an argument listen to yourself, do find yourself attempting to make your point over and over and over? Just because you may phrase it differently doesn't mean you aren't trying to push your idea(l)s and beliefs onto them. Make your feelings known and stop. Anything more is perhaps you trying to change them.
Before you open your mouth to speak ask yourself:
- Does it need to be said?
- Does it need to be said now?
- Does it need to be said by me?
Two things to keep in mind: The second word starts the argument and change is an inside job.
In the end, it won't be you battling for a meaningless "trophy" because you got in the last word and silenced your partner. You are a Team! If you must agree to disagree by all means do that.
For in the Super Bowl of marriage working together as a team, your love will always win!
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