"Did You Do ANYTHING Today..?"
These words. Oh my. When you use these words to chastise your spouse when you come home and the house is not as clean as you think it should be you are making a judgment that deals a crushing blow.
You rise early and head off to a job that you may not like. You spend all day doing things for a boss that at the end of the day takes the credit and tells you-you did a good job, but you could be doing so much more. It is drudgery.
Your spouse rises in the morning and they have a laundry list of things to accomplish in the same time frame you have. That list may include the laundry, your laundry that you expect to be washed, with stains removed, then perhaps ironed, folded and put away. There will be the morning dishes to clean and the house will likely need to be looked after. The floors swept and maybe mopped, dusting, bathrooms cleaned, living room and bedroom cleaned and it could be much more. Then there is the grocery list on the refrigerator. A trip to the grocery store is on the to-do list. Then what to fix for the evening meal. Something delicious, filling, different than "the same old thing you always have" and within your budget. The budget! Oh yes, there are the bills that need to be paid. Not everyone pays bills online. Sometimes before you leave for work you add to your spouses' to-do list extra things that you want or need to be done but you don't have the time.
Let's take this up a notch. What if you have children? Children, whether they are big or small, are still children and they need, want and require much attention from your spouse. So now the stay at home spouse will need to get the children in the car when they run the errands you gave them, buy the groceries that you will no doubt be eating, come home and clean the house that as soon as they leave that clean room will go to another room which they will re-clean because the children took .001 seconds to demolish an hours worth of labor. It sometimes feels like a vicious cycle but it needs to be done. You expect it to be done and your spouse expects it of themselves, too.
So all that having been said I did a bit of research, feel free to do your own. When you come home from your job and things are not to your standards remember this list!
- Housekeeper ............................................................................... $160/wk average
- Personal Shopper ........................................................................ $14 - $26/hr average
- Bookkeeper ................................................................................. $30 - $40/hr average
- Laundry Service .......................................................................... $3/lb average
- Daycare ....................................................................................... $611/wk average
- Personal Chef .............................................................................. $20/hr average
- Personal Errand Runner .............................................................. $27/hr
I hope you get the idea. Your spouse is invaluable to you. Because I didn't bother adding to this list your personal on-call therapist. You may have a very draining job but your stay at home teammate, your spouse isn't getting the luxury end of the deal.
When you come home after a long and emotionally and physically draining day and you are ready to snap do yourself and your spouse a huge favor. Take a minute for yourself to regroup. To think about how excited your spouse is when you come home. How happy just you walking through that door at the end of the day makes them. Think how only a single word or look will either make them run to you with kisses and hugs or destroy that smile and trash that excitement on their face. You have that power. Use it as a force for good. Remember, you are not the only one who worked hard today. You are not the only one who wants to be appreciated for all they do.
So, regroup then walk through that door and receive your kisses, hugs, and appreciation and ask them "So, tell me all about your day!"
#LOVE #RELATIONSHIP #MARRIAGE
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