It is not uncommon for me to walk in to a rehearsal and even a wedding and be pulled to the side to be offered a quick word of caution about a guest, usually a close family member, that I should be aware of because they are attempting to commandeer the wedding or otherwise "run the show".
It can be very stressful when a family member is attempting to insert their wishes upon the couple. This may help.
First, keep in mind this wedding is about you. It's not about giving everybody on the guest list all that they want. It is absolutely impossible to please everyone. Even if the wedding is being paid for in part or in its entirety by the person who is insisting things be done their way it is still your wedding. It is still about you and your wants. It could mean that you will need to set boundaries with this person and stick to them. It will mean you asserting and vocalizing what you want clearly and in no uncertain terms. Just because they might be monetarily contributing towards the ceremony does not mean they should be able to run with it. In a firm and loving manner, you need to communicate far in advance your wishes to those who have a history of trying to push their ways and ideals upon your day.
Second, try not to worry so much about hurting their feelings. You are not responsible for their feelings. Keeping in mind that when you are expressing yourself to say what you mean, mean what you say but don't say it mean. Be kind. These folks have their reasons why they insist on having things their way. Even if you don't understand, it makes sense to them. So, if they seem hurt when you tell them "no" remember, they'll survive a "no". It'll be okay. And believe it or not "No" is a complete sentence.
Last, if you try to give everybody a say in your day when it's all said and done and in a week or so you look back on your wedding will you be happy with how your wedding turned out? Will giving in to the "tantrums" of your future mother-in-law/father-in-law (and both of you will have in-laws) leave you feeling happy? Or will it potentially be a source of contention between you two? "If you had just told your (fill in the blank) "No" such and such would not be an issue now.
It's about your marriage. You can't make everybody happy. No matter what you do, someone will not be completely satisfied. Therefore, have them black roses or lime green tuxedoes if that's your burning desire because, in the end, it's all about you.
#LOVE #RELATIONSHIP #MARRIAGE #WEDDING #REHEARSAL #WEDDINGREHEARSAL
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